31st December 2009
Thursday
We were so keen
So excited
At least I was
We headed for Mutiara Damansara instead of Bukit Bintang
It was a mistake I didn't know of
It was my fault
Should never have involved Kinn into this
I am so sorree Kinn
=(
Even though we didn't really know how to go there
We followed road signs and whatever and he even called his brother to ask where do they have new year countdowns
But then later my mum was so angry and mad at me
And my phone was so cacat
I am so sorree
We didn't make it for countdown
We left at about 10pm or so
That totally spoilt my day
No, Kinn's day
Really
Drove all the way to Mutiara Damansara and then had to leave in just 2 hours
Man, I felt so terribly bad man
=(
It was all my fault
Yeah, I know that
Went home
Got a seriously bad scolding from my mum
='(
I was irresponsible
I was selfish
I was everything but good
Nobody will ever trust me again
No one
I laid on my bed for I-dunno-how-long
Hadn't even taken my shower
Not even a bit of food down my stomach
I wanted to blog
But the internet line was off
And I had to switch it on in the living room
But they were in the living room
So ended up just lying on bed and resting and waiting and messaging
=(
I'm so sorree Kinn
And the countdown started
I heard fireworks
I didn't even bother to look out my window
There weren't many new year greetings
It's okay
I couldn't care less anymore that time
Nothing mattered more than Kinn's messages that time
It was all the comfort I could get
=(
I wasn't crying anymore
I wasn't really hungry
I just wanna lay on my bed
Such pathetic I was
=(
She almost wanted to check on my friends whom I went out with
Man, I would not give her
I mean, I know how serious that would end up
There was no way I could ever jeopardise them with that
Not Kinn
No way
I was at fault
I am still at fault
I had no excuses
You asked me not to gith back
I did not
I used to fight back last time
But then I realised things would just get worse
So after that, everytime you scold me, I would just keep quiet and ignore
But then now, you asked me not to keep quiet
I dunno what to do, you know?
What you want me to do?
I know I was really very wrong
Hmm
I just dunno what is it with my life
=(
I won't blame anyone
Cause it was totally my fault
Blame me
=/
I am sorry Kinn
I am so sorry
Really I am
I felt bad
Extremely terrible
I spoilt your day
I totally ruined your day
You deserved a better day
It was the end of the year and the start of another
And I ruined that start
And I spoilt that end
I am so sorry
=(
No matter how many times I say sorry, it just won't help
It won't make things better
I know it won't
I started the mess
I was in deep shit
Man, I was the brat
Not you guys
I am so sorry
=(
Sorry forever
Definitely wasn't my day
=(
Not a perfect start to the new year
I am sorry Kinn
=(
xoxo just for you
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