rejoice this revelry!

HA! So much frustration that I should be venting about all because of a problem that until now, I still could not tell the main source of it. This problem, is what have been depriving me from my lovely blogging space and that so totally explains the absence of any updates ever since the last of our Beauty and the Beast performance. 

My sincere apologies. To any readers (if there are) and especially to myself and my blog. ;D

I'm just THAT good. ;P

Anyway, it's the LAST day...

on earth.

Okay, not. But I wish someday I could say that. Well, in a good way of course. ;)

It's the last day of year 2011. Gee, how quickly that seems to be. First it was "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart..." and now "Should auld acquaintance be forgot...".

Ahh, a year has passed in the blink of an eye. I suppose it's the time of the year when people act more differently than usual. They just lie down on their couch and a gazillion of things run through their mind. Or for some, they have the favourite pen in hand, twisting and turning, flipping through pages of diaries and penning down their heartfelt emotions and thoughts. Or still there are those that finally found the super PERFECT time to get out, get wasted, and spin out of control for once and the final time for that year. 

As you involuntarily keep your mind active pondering over the little things that have happened to you over the year, you begin to doubt, question, chastise, blame, understand and of course, to love yourself even more. You think of some events that lifted you up but brought you to a downfall as well. You think of the things that made you feel like an angel dancing amongst the fluffy white clouds but also those that broke your heart into splintering pieces. You think of how easily some people came knocking upon your door and allowing themselves into your precious life and yet, how in a split second their presence left no mark that you can trace anymore. You think of how filial you have been as a son, as a daughter, as a grandchild, as a sister, a brother, a cousin, a friend, a best friend. You think of all the choices and decisions you had to make, easy or difficult. You think of the last day of the previous year. You think of the first day of this ending year. And now, you're thinking on the last day of the year for the first day of the next. How ironic and how confusing yet deep it sounds to me. ;D

For the previous years, mum has always mentioned to us about setting our resolutions. But surely most of us know that resolutions are among the hardest things that ordinary people like us can and will adhere to. So, she didn't mention it this year and I don't think I'll have any specific resolutions that I need to make for now. Because after this entire year of happenings, ups and downs, I realized that even with resolutions, some things are just not in our control. 

They just happen.

Yes, that's the phrase for it. They just happen. Not that you want them to happen anyway. That's why, "Man proposes, God disposes." Um, I think it should sound that way. ;)

This time last year, everything was so different. This time next year, I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing. ;)

See, told ya! 

By the end of tonight, I would want to say to myself, "Gee, you made it through a year!"

;)

Let bygones be bygones. ;)

See you next year folks! ;D

With lotsa love. ;)

Beauty and the Beast, off to a good start!

When your hard work pays off, you have yourself a moment of pleasure and complete satisfaction.

We did a terrific job. It was brilliant. ;) No regrets people!

Okay, me and Ann looked so isolated in that corner now. ;P

Mum couldn't make it to our drama performance on Monday. I know I wished her to come and watch me in play but it was okay because I know I'll always have her support. ;) I never expected the 'crowd' we had. Um, more like, I have not even had the time to think about the people that will actually come though.

That day was just like an ice-blended beverage with all sorts of ingredients ranging from suspense, excitement, nervous, merry, anger, frustration, disappointment, high hopes, fun, fun, and FUN! Okay, we had fun. I had fun. 

And I already love this bunch of friends I have. ;)

Epic! Just say it, I know the one on the right looks just like a puppet. I bet if she has a long stick nose, she would be the female version of Pinocchio. No joke. ;) And Chloe aka the White Chicken of our batch looked like an angel that day. Only on that day. ;P

Love this! ;)

The presentable one.

The SUPER out of control one!

The limelight of the day. ;) Super gay I tell you!

The dictator of all costumes. Well done, bestie! ;)

The babi who was one of them that ignored my earnest and pitiful pleas for help to do the freaking Button in Flash. ;P

Oh, our Ace, who always pops up out of nowhere and the one that I DID not take a picture with. A PROPER one, that is.

When the focus SHOULD be on US. Thank you Rainer. ;P

And something that I should not be showing but I should not feel ashamed for showing it because by right, I had done nothing of that sort and it was all the camera angle and the series if snapshots it took! Innocence is crying out loud here!

The babi, had to be credited for all these photos. ;P Love you guys! ;D

the rock is moved

I want to have a library like that! The smell of oak filling the massive room, the feel of flipping through pages of papyrus, if I have any. ;) And I definitely want a lush red carpet. A big one, so I can jump around like a monkey and lie on it whenever I want to. ;D

Anyway, the hecticness is OVER. Yesterday we submitted all our final assignments which had so successfully bore us down for the last week. It definitely was an immense relief as soon as you had the last touch of those thick documents and final click of digital submission. You could say that these two assignments, especially so with Flash really made me a nocturnal creature.   Oh well, I stayed up till 5am in the morning just to finish up my animation and woke up at 2 hours later just to get to college to hand in these stuff. But I guess it was quite fun after all- the thrill and excitement and the insanity of us all shown so obviously noticeable on Facebook in the wee hours right on that night before submission date. 

I still couldn't believe I managed to stay up THAT late. Well, come to think of it, I kinda miss staying up late like how I used to years before. Perhaps I should do that now and then. Or when there is an assignment that really pushes me to the edge and end up BREAKING DAWN. No, wait, I don't ever want to rush an assignment like that anymore. Can seriously cause a major nervous breakdown okay?

But, it was fun. At least it was an assignment that I think I kinda enjoyed doing. Other than that, I hope for a no-encounter. 

Quote for the week:

True story (Joevin 2011). ;D

And because of this whole week of non-stop business and barely enough time to rest, I came home with a feeling of uneasiness and over-relaxation. No more Flash, no more journals, nothing. You know that feeling you get when you become too used to the existence of something in your life and suddenly that thing that has become an integral part of you or your daily life is just, taken away, gone. Well, that really explains why I feel so free right now. 

Gee, I'm starting to miss my Flash. It didn't feel like a drive to fight against time and sleepiness until now. Okay, I just have to wait for another of such an assignment to rev up that engine again. ;) BUT BE ONE THAT I LIKE DOING! ;P

There, my Flash portfolio. ;)

I do. I really do. ;)

for it's friendship that saved us

So true. That's why we talk, and we talk, and, we just talk. ;)

What was supposed to be drop-by-to-pick-up-some-stuff turned out to be a get-together-time for me and a long time buddy. From the front gate, to the car porch, and then on to the living room.

Dude, you're thinking a tad bit too much here aren't you?

;P

I walked to his car porch because the stuff that I needed to get was inside his car. But just by standing there itself could have us talking until the drizzle came for the invitation to get cozy in the house. And so the conversation just went on, and on, and on.

For 4 hours.

Oops.

Until the drizzle turned into a violent downpour and cast a gloomy ambiance in the living room.

Sometimes I feel like my mother. Because whenever she gets together for a cuppa coffee at a cafe with her close friend, they would simply lose track of time and get drifted to their own little world that only both of them know. But once in a while, it is a great pleasure and a fun thing to do to just sit back on the sofa and not care about what to do or what to say but just speak what is on your mind. You share, you tell stories, you recall about the past, you be honest with your words and you let your emotion be in control, for once. Just this once. Because you know it matters. Because you know he's a good friend of yours and that trust could not convince you even more than to let your friend listen to firsthand details about you and you about him. At least when under such condition, the pretense that you have been so used to could be let down for now. And it is safe. It is all safe. 

What circulated between us shall only be feasted upon our very own ears.

You could say improbable, inexplicable or inconceivable, but NOT impossible. How could you, who believed so much and had high hopes in what you were pursuing, mention about this? I don't think it is impossible. It is what your heart desires and what that desire sets your mind into that pierce through all forms of barriers, that go against all odds for what you had initially believed in. It's just difficult, and hurtful to know of that possibility you perceive. How sad, how dreadful and how terrifying. 

It is possible, if you choose to believe.

I had a most enjoyable day with you today, Ting Sen. I promise I'll get you your Coke, no joke. Just wait for it, it'll come SOON. ;) Let's have some of these days every now and then. This way, at least I won't lose sight of my friend. ;)

What I promise, I'll never break.

a love like allie and noah

So I watched 'The Notebook' today. It was just, down right hopelessly romantic and yet painful to watch. Well, you could say it's predictable of how a typical romance film is but when you have been through what the story relates, you can definitely connect with the characters and feel their anguish and pain but most of all, the passion and love that burns in their hearts.

I have to say, Ryan Gosling looks extremely good-looking in here. And have I mentioned he is quite adorable too? Oh, and quite cheesy. And man, he IS good at kissing! ;P

I do. I do want a love that keeps people moving forward, a love that drives people insane but has a clear mind of the one that their hearts desire, a love that gains respect and admiration, a love that pains people to witness but is worth every wound it causes, a love that knows no boundaries, a love that is pure and genuine, a love that is fun and lively, a love that is mature yet childish, a love that exists between two lovers, a love between you and me.

Allie: I wanna go out with you!

Noah: Alright, alright, we'll go out.

How adorable! ;D

***

Noah: Would you just stay with me?

Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fighting.

Noah: Well that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time.

***

If you say that, I'll be prepared. Because I'll be ready to take on the risk if you are. After all, what is there for the heart to deny?

"I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it." 

- The Notebook

It never was. It never is. And it never will. 

I could only wish upon my heart to hear you say so.

Stories like these, give me hope. ;)

a bonding least expected

Yesterday was everything but usual.

Early morning, we were already at Xiao En Centre for the funeral service. Funerals- they always have a way of forcing people into tears, no matter how hard they have convinced themselves not to shed a tear at the occasion itself. And that does not make me an exception because even though I was not very close to her, our lives had crossed paths numerous times and kindness has constantly been shown to us. It is a huge loss especially to my grandma. All I pray for, is to let her soul be at peace.

I met an old friend of mine as we were about to leave the centre for the crematorium. How long has it been since our last meeting, our last conversation, our last contact. It is odd you know, that people who were once so close and had tons to talk about could reach this point of silence. I just wish time could allow us to bring back those bonds or if not, give us the chance for effort. That friend, was Pik Mun. It was really glad seeing you, though regrettable at such a circumstance.

Habits die hard but for once, I surprised not only myself but also my grandparents. I have always been so at ease with myself and the breakfast lifestyle I have built up that it has been years since I last went for a breakfast with my family. (That does not include my mum) Perhaps, I'm just so used to being coup up in my bedroom that not dining it in for one morning would probably be a wonder to my family. But it was a good meal that we enjoyed and the time we spent, though the conversation that we had was minimal when I am involved, I had to admit I was glad I decided to have breakfast with them. After all, what else to give top priority to apart from our very own kin? So thank God. It was a pleasurable moment that we all shared and cherish.

You see, such an occasion that is almost dreaded by most people had actually brought an unexpected turn of events. On just one such occasion, I had the chance of meeting up with an old friend, though only for a very brief moment, and also to give time to those loved ones that I have. I guess that is why it is often quoted that there is always a bright side to everything that happens. Of course, in life, not all things are as joyous as little kids receiving Christmas presents. But if you choose to look at it from another angle, there may be certain positive points that you might pick up.

It's a wonder, and a delight that such an occasion could bring people together. And yes, I do believe it has achieved that purpose for the living. 

this 26th

Yesterday was an eventful 26th. Just when you think or expect everything to go perfectly normal on another ordinary Wednesday, circumstances turn around and show you how unpredictable they may be.

Firstly, it was Deepavali. Although I may be unforgivably late for this, but allow me to say this,

Happy Deepavali to all of you out there, whether celebrating or not, we can't deny the fact that it's a holiday makes it all the more joyful. ;D Just kidding. Have a great one, if you are planning on a post-festival celebration. ;)

Secondly, there was some bad news that we received early in the morning yesterday. Like I said, death is so unpredictable. One day you see this person and the next, he or she vanishes from this earth forever. It's sudden, it's never easy and it's scary. You really don't know what will happen tomorrow and how the turn of events would be. It's just like the storm. No, wait, it's not. At least you can feel the storm coming even if you could not see the signs of it. Perhaps, it's more like lightning. When it comes, it gives no warning or whatsoever because that is its job. Strike as it is.

You can't see it with your bare eyes. But it's just looming in the darkness, waiting for the time. But sometimes it happens so tragically. When that happened, suddenly my mind picked up the saying that Albus Dumbledore had for Harry. 

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love."

Love your loved ones. Cherish them, tell them how much you love them. Or if you can't bring yourself to speak those words, at least show them in action of your gratefulness and thoughtfulness towards them. Resent no more because those angry words might be the very last thing you would want them to remember. Love them, and let yourself be loved.

Rest in peace. May God bless your soul and let you be at peace.

26th means, everything. To me. The 26th of this month marked a full four month. Sometimes it seems like only a brief period has passed, but if you are the one going through it, it feels like eternity. Okay, maybe not eternity for I have not known how long actually is eternity. But it would probably feel like years. Perhaps that explains why I've been thinking about it so much lately, hoping against hope that it would be something pleasant. Then it gets me wondering, if my thoughts are shared by you too. 

How was I to know if you never told?

Well, it's hardly likely that I can't fall asleep at night and ended up lying awake until the sun beans penetrate my windows. Nay, I can definitely fall asleep very soon. It is only occasionally that I need more time to get myself to escape from reality. But that does not mean I go to bed every night without the slightest thought of that togetherness, that possibility, that hope, that could-be.

Can I say he's mine? Because he is just too HOT. His smirk, his eyes, his smile, his gaze only for Elena. I would so want him to be with Elena in the end. Then maybe Stefan could be with Caroline. But then I would want Caroline to be with Matt. Yet something tells me there's sparks going on between Caroline and Tyler. Okay, stop, enough of it. I'm just drifting far away from here. ;P

It is. Isn't it? Painful, pointless and overrated. Well, I've been too in love with the idea that Disney has planted in me since a young girl that someday, if you wait patiently and longingly, your prince will arrive and there will be a "happily ever after" ending. People are changing this concept and so is the society. I think we should form an NGO to create awareness of this Disney principle and revive what was lost through modernization of romances. No?

Never mind. Let myself be consumed with it and I shall myself be contented with it. 

I still do believe real life fairy tale can exists. After all, it is the human imagination that gets people strive for what they want in life. Well at least that's the case for me. ;)

If you ask me, "Will you go back to when it all started and do it all over again?"

"I will."

Gee man, even Winnie the Pooh has some intelligence over humans. I shall probably eat more honey like they do. Bees produce honey (or do they?). Well the point is that they have something to do with honey and so does this bear. (Is Winnie the Pooh a bear, or...?)

Let's eat more honey. They definitely do bring us some positive effects. ;) 

I could just be that little girl who lies on that shoulder you provide. 

And fall asleep. ;) 

until the stars fall from the sky

They say, when something happens and causes a huge impact on you, it is likely there will be unforeseen changes that would raise the eyebrows of those around you. Somehow, something within yourself is altered and maybe even without you realizing it. It just happens so swiftly and seemingly so naturally that to you, it is nothing to be worried about.

I've started having a thing for indie music. Well, I thought I used to like indie music but the truth was, I simply liked the thought of me loving indie music. Uh, oh well.

They're awesome. Especially UK music. I love UK and I love UK music as much! 

Me: I love UK. It's so pretty!

Mum: Who?

Me: UK. England!

Mum: Pretty??

Well obviously my mum thought I had a weird usage of descriptive languages. ;P

Belle and Sebastian. Super awesome. ;)

This is just too cute not to share it. Well yeah, the animation is as nice to watch as the song is to be listened. So 500 Days of Summer-like. ;)

Then we have Sufjan Stevens, also another fantastic singer. So far, this song has caught my interest. 

Have you noticed that the beginning of this song bears similarity to Chinese pop songs? It certainly does to me.

I am so loving this! Yes, The Last Shadow Puppets- The Age of the Understatement. \m/

;D

This is already my song of the day. I was simply listening to The Last Shadow Puppets songs on Youtube and somehow, a glimpse at the title brought me to this super duper amazing song.  Just perfect. ;)

It's just too beautiful. Way too beautiful.

I'm loving the songs that I used to avoid listening. I'm even starting to accept and more so, enjoy those songs that used to have such important significant. Which still do.

I'm starting to like Arctic Monkeys. That scares me somehow.

answer that calling

Someone just please do that to my hair. Yes, I totally need someone who is so kind and helpful and willing enough to grasp that bunch of unruly hair of mine and hold it in place so I won't get all itchy in my face. Just because my hand always gets tired easily when I do it myself. ;P

Backpack travelling and road trips. I just NEED to have these both elements in my entire life. And I'll be the most clueless wanderer that country will ever have because all things will be foreign. All things are strangers to me. And where hope will be renewed and strengthened. ;)

I would so want to try this. Feels just like in The Notebook (though I haven't watched) and A Walk To Remember. Yes, just like those hopeless romance stories that'll have my heart melt right away. Lying on the crystal clear pool of water and simply letting the breeze take over and the water to wash away every little doubt and worry if there are.

Even if those doubts and worries won't leave me, I could just relax and enjoy that blend of warmth and coldness around me. And maybe, think. Think of the past, the present and what could be. Think of what I could do. Think of what I could learn to cook. (very unlikely) Think of what I could eat. Think of what movie to watch. Think of what book to read. Just, think.

No.

It's a yes or no question anyway. ;)

forever we could be

I feel lucky today! Lucky when I went back to college to finish up my Visual Comm portfolio. Lucky when the rain stopped once I was just about to leave. Lucky when I was in the toilet, something reminded me to print the McD's voucher. Lucky when I was prompted to flip the coin to decide whether I should go to Mid Valley to purchase those remaining cloths for Performing Arts, but then ended up making the final decision myself. Lucky I got the Chemistry SPM past year workbook for bro. Lucky I got a parking space not long after I drove into the parking lots at Mid Valley! ;D

Psst, for those of you who are familiar with Mid Valley's parking, I am sure you would understand how lucky I felt. 

I was guilty for awhile. What happened was, I was in the basement of Sunway Pyramid's parking. As I was driving round in search of an empty lot, my arm magically gave pressure to the honk and IT HONKED THE PAIR OF ELDERLY COUPLE who was about to cross to the other side. Awhhhh mannnnnnnn! I felt so terribly terribly awful! I did not mean to and I guess the uncle and auntie were forming some pretty negative impressions of me already. I am so so so sorry. =((

Then at Mid Valley (no, it did NOT happen again), as I was rounding the place hoping to get extra lucky, a pair of elderly couple seemed to be heading towards one of the cars parked against the wall. And yay! Lady Luck was with me then.

That's why I love seeing elderly couples together. Holding hands, talking and giggling, strolling in the evening park where roses bloom, sitting in a corner of McD gently feeding fries to each other, whispering words of love, exchanging sincere kisses. 

They rock!

How adorable. ;)

Let's patiently wait for that day to knock upon my door. And we'll jump like spoilt little monkeys on your bed, I'll hit you with your favourite pillow and you'll catch me around thw waist where we'll both go tumbling down the floor. I think there should be two spare pillows, just in case I want to take it further and tear open the pillows. ;D

Secretly, you opened my diary and read its contents even though you know I'll get mad. But after a few bickering, you'll hold me in your arms and we'll both flip through the pages together. That's why it's a good thing to keep a diary now. I have mine! ;D

Oh, and autumn! I loveeee autumn. You'll sweep away the leaves and form a tiny mountain out of it. Just before you relocate them into a rubbish bag, I'll prance and jump and lay my buttock on top of it and you'll just have to repeat the process all over again. But not before chasing me around the neighbourhood and screaming on top of your lungs that I can never run too far away because you'll find me anyhow.

You prepare hot chocolate and I'll put in marshmallows. And we'll sit on the couch and cuddle with Disney classic playing on the TV. Yes, that's a must. Disney classic is a must. ;D

Let's do it! Whisper a whisper and let it flutter upwards, where dreams are made possible. COME GO CATCH A BUTTERFLY!

Sounds terrific doesn't it? You and I could make the perfect team. Well, we could come up with the weirdest and wildest idea every single day and never get bored of it. Until the end of time. ;)

I promise.

One Tree Hill is AWESOME!

i could make you a terrific companion

Just the other day, I overheard the word that there will be a 3-month break after this semester. I'm not wholly confirmed about it for I have not even checked the academic calender. 

But even so, I think I have already begun planning for that holiday. ;D

It's a secret. And if I really do make it happen, you'll know all about it. 

Let's see how it goes. ;)

I'll soon become a wanderer. Because that's what life should be.

Venture into unfamiliar places, absorb all you can with the five senses you are equipped with, adapt, change, live it. That's life.

I'm gonna make mine worth it. What about you? ;)

I've skipped swimming for the past two weeks. One, because of the assignment. Two, because I fell ill. Three, all these are excuses. ;P

My appetite has been growing tremendously fast lately and I can't seem to find a solution to curb it. Or perhaps I should not even attempt so. But I'll regret the next time I weigh myself. So, I'd better start swimming again!

just like a book houses a worm

Looks like I've been LONGGGG GONEEEEE. Oh well, I'm back, ain't I? The past couple of weeks have been so hectic that if I were to recall what I have been so busied with, I'm not sure if I can come up with a perfect answer for you. But I guess it's been the load of assignments that have occupied my time.

And worst of all, I fell sick. I had the most terrible night ever in my entire life, from flu that is. Yes, flu is such an evil killer. I barely slept the other night and it was just like adding salt to the wound when I had to stay back until 7pm the next day in college. Luckily there was the piece of Mr Winston's birthday cake to compensate for it. ;P Just joking.

There is something that I need to confess. However absurd and irrelevant it may sound, I just had to say,

I SPENT WELL OVER 200 BUCKS ON BOOKS THIS MONTH.

I think I should NOT feel guilty over it as I kept convincing myself that the amount I paid was rightfully returned with the value of what it's worth. But then again, a tiny little voice that just won't let me have the pleasure of enjoying what I've got for myself remains to be a consistent and habitual nag to me. Which makes me feel bad even more.

Oh, by the way, have I mentioned that it was the Big Bad Wolf sale I was talking about? Man, it was flooded by people, and BOOKS. YES, STACKS AFTER STACKS OF BOOKS. I could just swim into this sea of books and never want to get out. No, I need to get out to read them. ;D

Only she will do that. ;P After loading several boxes with her cookbooks, she would just find a corner (and that was not even a corner!) to sort them all out and slowly debate with her mind on which to buy first. First- because we were planning to go for a second round on the second week of the sale.

This was basically what we got for both ourselves. All that was left of me to do was to spare my legs from walking and standing any further and wait until she could finally decide on the books to buy. Easy job right? ;D

Told ya, all her cookbooks. Well, too bad she couldn't get better ones during our second visit. No wait, it was OUR second visit but I went there thrice already!

Just this one bag from my first visit. I only managed to get 6 books for myself and it was only later on that I felt I ill-treated myself from the immensity of books that were pleading to go home with me. No, I really do think so.

SEE! *guilt flooding in*

The few books I got for mum, for those kids she's teaching. So proud to say I've got almost the entire set of Nancy Drew. (I think I really do have the entire set already) Yes, a happy child I am now and I definitely could not wait to have a library of my own. That would be the best thing ever!

Surprisingly (to me), I stumbled upon a book of Nadeem Aslam. Well I've read one of his for an assignment and that's why I came to know that this book won him an award- the one I had bought. So yeah, I guess I'm gonna love this book. 

And then my final visit on the last day of the sale. This time, I could not say I was more satisfied with what I have gotten. Sadly (yes, sadly), I couldn't find the one book that I really wanted so much. The Sinking of The Laconia. I've searched high and low at the general fiction section, the sci-fi section and even the history/political section. Dejected, truly. Well, things come when you least expect them. Just like when The Rose Labyrinth knocked on my door. So yeah, let's keep our fingers crossed and soon enough, I could lay my hands on this super epic novel. Man, I'm not even completely sure that it is a novel.

Momma said she prefers paying more and getting her books at book stores where people are less likely to crowd around you just to have a look at the books you might be interested in. But for me, I just LOVE going to such fairs. I'm waiting for the next one to come. ;D

Psst, I haven't even started on the books I bought. ;P