back hugs

A high school friend left for UK. People are leaving. Things are changing. Feelings are, suppressed.

Then I saw those pictures. What a pity. There is not a thing except that single piece of photograph that speaks for all that we had. Then I wondered, how would it be if my worst fear would come true? Perhaps it will, but I just never expected it to be so soon. Because I know, and I'm aware, of the glimmering hope that lies within, that somehow, I still have a place of importance. It's blinding. Those pictures were. Like when you stare directly into the shining star called sun, like when the flash of a camera shuts your eyes for that split second, like when you refuse to give way to the burning tears. 

So the vision came again. That feeling when your lean hands were wrapped around my waist. That feeling when your breath is upon my neck. That feeling when your warmth subdues the coldness all around. That feeling when your lips whisper into my ears. That feeling when your heartbeat channels to my back. That feeling when the spaces between our fingers are filled. That feeling when the words you speak are made into promises. That feeling when nothing else in the world matters. That feeling when all is understood. That feeling when you let me know I'm all that you need. That feeling of back hug, is all I need now.

I want to experience summer. They say it's the time of the year when love is all around. When all is carefree and energizing. But then, I think I've got enough of heat from my living in this country. Autumn is what I have always loved. The leaves changing their colours for the last time. Walking along a dirt path lined on both sides with tall trees. Beneath each footstep is the crunching sound of dry leaves. Touching every inch of your body is the windy breeze that have you wrapped your arms around yourself. The time when deep contemplation is done. The time when realization comes. The time when all is peaceful to you. 

Jump shots are awesome. But then, there were times that jump shots didn't turn out to be jump shots. They were either ready-to-jump shots, squat shots, hands-in-midair-but-feet-only-inches-off-the-ground shots, or standing shots. When you're at the highest point, and that moment is snapped, that's when everything becomes crystal clear. For now, the ladder leading me to the peak is still shaky. The pang of doubtfulness and fear are barricades for now. Until then, the feelings will not change.

Lyrics are there for a reason. And for me, they help me relate. When a song clearly describes your state of emotion, then so naturally it becomes your theme song for that day. 

Let's survive.

right ain't wrong if wrong ain't right

I've always liked rainy days. Some people may not like them. Probably because these raindrops hinder what they had planned to do that day. Probably because they will feel cold, from inside out. Probably they feel their warmth and joy straying further and further from them. Probably, it is when they feel that the gloomy skies looming above them are expressions they have longed tried to deny to themselves.


Probably.


But I like rainy days. 


I can imagine things to do under the rain.
I can imagine myself running out into the rain just like a little girl seeing a huge candy.
I can imagine myself lying on the green pasture and getting soaked under the pouring rain.
I can imagine myself dancing to each drop of rain that finds its spot on my body.
I can imagine the coldness that encompass my body.
Perhaps these are the things that I have always wanted to do.

Ever wondered how big the size of a single droplet of rain? I really think I should collect a droplet and measure it. But after I thought of that, I realized that I have nothing that I can use to measure it. 

Then I wondered, how is it like on the grey clouds above? I think it could be like a swimming pool. A really large container that stores all the water and when the base opens up like an iron-wrought gate, all of them come cascading downwards. But then again, the water won't be in droplets. They would be like a waterfall!

What is there is a sifter beneath this container? So when the water is released just like from a dam, this sift will do its job and the gushing water will be formed into tiny droplets. I think it could work that way. Two layers of clouds, the upper one as the container and the lower one as the sifter.

I totally like this idea! ;D

Remember that song "Rain, rain go away"? I think there should be another one that goes, "Rain, rain, please stay!"

Because there are so much I can do under the rain. Like, kissing under the rain! ;D

I caught myself being more 'visual' these days. I think it might be due to assignment after assignment that are visual based. So into my own art now! I can draw, mind you. And just like Picaso, only I can understand the meaning behind my art. They're just wayyyy too abstract for minds other than the weird one I have. ;D

I could have gotten my talent from hand-drawing. Yes, that was once my pastime. And then when I come back from school, I will have a hard time cleaning those ink blotches which all of a sudden seem to be all over myself. ;D

Someday, I want to visit a chocolate factory like this. Or maybe a store like this. Factory sounds so technical and not vibrant. Yes, I need vibrancy! More and more and more of them! And then I would jump into these jars and swim with the little M&Ms! 

Which I will swallow them all into my tummy! ;D

So cruel. 

Really? If that's so, then you're even more cruel than me. At least I don't pretend not to want to talk to you. Because pretending it is the hardest thing to do now.

"I do" all the way to the altar

I was working with Lai Yee last weekend at Mid Valley's Wedding Expo. It was really unplanned, unanticipated, totally last minute. I never expected that I would really enjoy it so much but I did, and I'm starting to fall for these bridal houses. They're simply amazing. 

We were placed under the Organizer's booth. And that means, we had the VIP seats. No, I'm serious. This booth was the first from the entrance and the exact opposite from the stage. Yes, there was a stage for performances by this music band called the KahoMusic Live Band. They actually are a music band that performs at wedding dinners or banquets and so on. How lucky we were to be the super VIP for them for the entire expo. ;D

Oh, and that explains the super exquisite purple gown above. The reason the back side of this gown was taken because her back was shown to us all the while. Poor us. And I only got to admire her back. LOL

Alright, here you go. The front of this gown. I only noticed it on the last day of my working there. Omigod! ;P It's pretty isn't it? I really do love this gown a lot. Like, A LOT. 

The white gown at the top right. Well, since it's not that clear here, the gown's lower part actually seem to have layers. I just fell in love with it on the first sight. Oh yeah, love at first sight. ;D

This was my first promoter-kinda job. So much thanks to Lai Yee. If not for her, I wouldn't be able to enjoy all these beautiful creations and to work with such nice people. Oh, I forgot to mention, the 'boss' I was working under was really a nice person. And his girlfriend, Shermain, was also a sweet and demure lady. They both are just the perfect match. =) Awhh, too bad I forgot to take a picture with them. I had wanted to have a shot of all of us you know. Just too bad then. 

Memories are best kept in heart. 

The end of all.

This has truly been a wonderful experience. Not only did I surprise myself by actually relishing those moments even under the freaking coldness, I actually find joy in seeing those people that came to the expo and left with something that awaits them very soon. It's really a joyful sight to see these people making a commitment to their partners for life. (hopefully) But still, at least they both share the same dream and the same willfulness and willingness to be committed to each other for the rest of their time yet to come. That itself is already an accomplishment. There has to be a starting point somewhere and I'm sure this was it for most of them. 

They say it's a common thing for girls to daydream and visualize how they want their weddings to be and some could even go as far as to the number of children they would want to have. No offence, but to be honest, such a thought was always tucked in the far corners of my mind and not even close to entering the 'daydream zone'. One day, waiting in my parked car, I accidentally glanced upon this huge board on a bridal house in Pudu. That was when the first of such imagination came knocking on my door. How strange, how peculiar, how fitting it all seemed then. 

It gives me joy to see these happy couples ready to embark on this lifelong journey together. You can say that. It's a bond, no doubt it is. A bond so strong that there's no questioning loads after loads of obstacles and testings lurk behind these lovely smiles they share. Yet, they have come so far and the reason for it is because they endured and they will definitely continue to do so. And maybe that's what saddens me most. Yeah, I guess that's what is. I often wonder, when it comes to serious thinking, why is it that other people are willing to stay together and take it all whatever that comes lashing into their faces and yet, and yet not us. 

I thought we were much stronger than that and I know I would definitely not give up without even trying.

Because I know we could do it. 

Because I believe we could.

And most of all because I want to do it.

All those people that I came into contact with and those people that came to the expo and sign up for their amazing packages, I give you my blessings. I may not know your past, I may not know your story and I may not know your difficulties for coming so far to this stage, but all I know is, you guys totally rock. You guys have something in common that most people have failed numerous times in trying to achieve it. And you know what? That is the willingness. Willingness to try. 

Willingness to put in effort. 

Willingness to overlook the mistakes and weaknesses that your partner has. 

Willingness to accept them for who they are.

Willingness to bond with them.

Willingness to be committed to them.

Willingness to make a start.

Willingness to go on a life-changing journey.

Willingness to let them into your life.

Willingness to love them.

And of course, determination. Well, maybe two things. XD

You guys really rock. *salute*

;)

Like I said, our boss was absolutely a nice person. 

...

Damn, I just forgot his name. XD

Oh wait! I just remembered. His name is Alvin. ;D And you know what, he's quite good looking too. Oh well, too bad he's got a girlfriend already. HAHAHAHA ;P No, really. He's a great guy and a great boss to us too. ;D

He gave us a box of mooncake. Well, not a box each, but we shared. And Shermaine just didn't want anything! Why like that? Make me feel so bad leh! ;P 

A mooncake.

And Mary Kay's merchandise. This tiny rectangular box is worth 150 bucks okay? ;P

No joke. It's part of the free gift for customers anyway. Lucky us, we got one each. 

THANK YOU! ;D

I've never tried Baker's Cottage's mooncakes before and now, I got one for myself. For FREE! And this isn't the ordinary flavour but those weird looking and with weird ingredients one. Never mind, me likey. ;D

There were moments that we shared secrets. There were moments when those feelings that have been buried deep down were unearthed. There were moments that words were not needed because we just understood how each other was feeling perfectly well. There were moments when what we exchanged almost caused the tears to fall. There were moments that even though we have lost what we see others have, we were still happy and proud of them. There were moments, when this friendship truly proves its importance. 

Thank you, Lai Yee. ;)

I know you miss me, please don't deny. ;P

Let's have another road trip again and bring lots and lots of snacks there. We'll stay up all night and watch random TV programmes like how we did. Like this pack of Mister Potato, waiting to be opened up and consumed wholly. LET'S DO IT SOMETIME! ;D

Let's snack! I love snacks. And McD Shakers too. ;D

going Victorian style

Oh dear, I've been feeling so out of touch from my blog lately. As a matter of fact, I feel like I've been running in circles for the past couple of weeks and seemingly not having enough time for anything at all. 

So more than two weeks ago on September 2nd, we celebrated mum's birthday. I had to admit I was kind of restless with the whole surprise thingy plan. Just that it didn't turn out to be a surprise that I was expecting though. 

I was the one who got surprised in the day. Backfired, terribly.

You see, I planned to bring us to Sunway's steamboat buffet, but then it just didn't turn out that way. Since it's her birthday, of course it's still up to her to have the final say right? So there you go, Victoria Station. 

Even the salad has the looks of a high price. ;P

THE real steak. To be honest, I'm actually more attracted by those super big-sized fries than the steak itself. I tried it anyway. Still fries. ;D

Chicken something for my bro. Since he doesn't eat mutton or beef, then that would be his only choice. ;P

Grilled fish fillet for me! I had sore throat that day and still feeling slightly off colour. But it was either grilled fish or BBQ fish or the last option would be Fish and Chips. As long as there are chips, I'll be fine. Really, I will. ;D

Told you, backfired. But it was worth it all the well. Like a friend of mine said, just once a year, so what's all the fuss right? Just thank God with whatever we have and we could still spend a little more here and there. =)

And then I saw the LONGEST escalator ever!!!

SEE!!! SOOOO LONGGGG WEHHHH! It crossed two levels instead of the average one level, that's why. At Great Eastern Mall by the way. We went up and down two of such escalators TWICE, just because I wanna take a nice shot of it and also just for the fun of it. 

FUN MAAA. ;P

Not forgetting this gift for her. 

Well, Happy Birthday! ;)