please don't let go

15th February 2010

Monday

I was on full shift today

It was really the first time I had a full shift after working for more than a month here

But to tell you the truth

My day wasn't that good

I just dunno what have I done

I know I promised you

And now I could not perform that promise

I am so sorry

I really didn't plan to disappoint you

I just dunno why you're that mad at me or something

=(

You never talked to me for the whole day

It's so not you

Not the way you were to me

=(

I almost had an emotional breakdown in front of my PIC *person in charge*

I cried in front of Edd

My whole day was affected so much

Yet, you didn't know

How could you possibly know

I never had a chance to tell you that

I just don't want you to not talk to me

Because it really feels like last time

How I felt last time

The same feeling

And followed by something that broke my heart so much

I really don't want that to happen again

I wanna believe you

And I really do

Just, don't not speak to me

Focusing on work was so difficult today

I had no mood at all

I was hoping that I would have a reply from you during my break

First break, none

Second break, none

After work, still none

Can you not feel how hurt it was to me?

Why are you treating me like this?

It hurts so much

Why are you making it so hard for me?

How I imagined you would suddenly appear in front of me, surprising me

And how I would cry seeing you smiling to me

And I would just be wrapped in your arms and you would just be there for me

That's all daydreams though

Why can't they happen in reality?

=(

I want you to be here with me because I really can't stop my tears from falling

I am so sorry

And I guess for the first time ever I dunno if I would be looking forward to my off day tomorrow

=(

*Smiling without you is too difficult.*

*Yeah, I'm smiling on the outside but secretly, I'm crying on the inside.*

*My life without you will never be the same.*

xoxo