not that happy after all

14th February 2010

Sunday

I really didn't expect myself to be that affected

I am affected by you

And I totally mean it

It seems like it's been such a long time since we've really talked

And I totally miss talking to you now

It's not that I don't wanna talk to you or what

For the last 2 nights, I was having a hard time

A really hard time

You couldn't possibly imagine how hard it was for me

And last night was the worst of all

I broke down

You were busy

I wanted to talk

But you were busy

Never mind, I'll let you do your stuff

And I just wish I could tell you what have happened

And I just wish you would just be there for me and listen

And I wanted you to be there for me

I needed you

You said it looks like I'm the one who doesn't have time for anything now

To tell you the truth, that was the most hurting thing I heard today

Of all days, how could you say that to me on this very day?

I do not blame you

I just want you to know that I am trying my best to have time for you

And I even got scolded by my mum for spending too much time outside and not even with the family

How do you think I'd feel?

I work almost everyday and as soon as I have an off day, I would surely spend my time with you

For the last 2 nights also, I have been so tired

You were busy also

I waited and waited

Until I could no longer stand it

So I slept

And in the morning, I had to rush to work

And you were still sleeping

And I don't even get to talk to you on anything at all

You think I did that on purpose?

Especially after what my mum lectured me about

I needed you more than ever

Today, of all days, you said that to me

I can never forget that

That message from you was the most hurting one I have ever received from you

I feel so hurt

On top of all that

This is my worst chinese new year for my 17 years of living

I am sorry for myself

=(

xoxo