tales of coincidences

Beholdddd, Death does not like to be cheated. MUAHAHAHA

Okay, that just sounds so sadistic. ;P

Final Destination, what should I say about it. Well, in simple words, Final Destination is a movie of coincidences. Just wayyy too many coincidences that could actually happen in our daily lives. Coincidentally, this group got into a freak accident on the bridge. Coincidentally, this guy had a vision about the ominous disaster that is about to fall upon them. Coincidentally, one after another followed this guy and girl out of the bus. Coincidentally, this girl swung herself from the pole during her gym practices just because some powder got into her eyes. Coincidentally, a guy at a massage parlour died because the bed he was sleeping on gave way. Coincidentally, a spanner sliced through a man's skull. Coincidentally, the cycle repeats itself.

Coincidentally, I think I just gave away the spoiler. ;P

Luckily I never had high expectation from this sequel after watching the trailer.

Now watch the fourth installment. Just because it was the only one I remember well. XD I'm not even sure if I've watched the much earlier ones.

That's why. The latest installment's trailer didn't seem as interesting to me as its predecessor. So yeah, going in with the least expectation and coming out without any disappointment. Better that way I guess. I'd say it's not a terrible movie after all, yet, I still think the fourth one is better than this. XD






In the end, everybody dies. LOL

laconia

Coincidentally, I stumbled upon the trailer of this brief series on TV just a week back. It seemed pretty intriguing and amusing to me. I almost forgotten about this whole series until I saw it appeared on yesterday's TV guide. Thankfully. ;)

I've watched 2 parts of it already. To tell the truth, the English they speak is tremendously QUICK. That really is how the olden days' English sounded like. I guess if I were to be transported back to those times, I would be no farther than a feet away from these people just to catch what they mouth. 

It's actually a historical reminiscent. The forsaken period of the Second World War and so be expectant of some gibberish German language. It feels like Titanic all over again as I watched this epic history story. It's even possible to relate certain distinguished characters with those of Titanic. What is most distinct in this drama is that it tells of the tension between the Germans and Brits during the most terrifying years on this planet. That's probably what differs Laconia from Titanic.

Okay, fine. I just said the obvious. LOL

AND, I noticed this pretty looking guy too. ;D

Ken Duken

HOT RIGHT???

I KNOW! Okay, maybe not THAT good-looking in this picture but he definitely is one damn hot guy when he appears in the movie. Ohmygosh, sohotttt!

He's a captain by the way. Captain of the German U-Boat. "Capitane"- that's how they pronounce it isn't it? ;)

this time, i had my guard completely down

Some songs are really meant to touch people's hearts. I forgot to mention, the other day when I was driving home from Ampang LRT after the Book Fest, it was as if the radio understands what I was feeling then. Song by song, lyric by lyric, they all seem to fit into the situation so perfectly without even much of trying. 


"Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?
Who says you're the only one that's hurting?
Trust me, that's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty?
Who says you're not beautiful?
Who says?"


*silence*


Oops, sorry. I just forgotten what songs I heard that day, but surely they were really meaningful at that time of the day to me. Really, trust me. ;)

;)


Anyway, it was the MTV VMA the other day. Too bad I have not found all the performances on Youtube. Still, here's a couple that I've come to adore very much already. 

She had a heartbreak. And this song, if you listen closely and pay attention to every word in the lyric, it carries so much weight that it's impossible not to have your heart touched by her voice.


"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."


Doesn't this song just sinks to the bottom of your heart and bounces back up, pulling those strings attached to all memories and emotions to the surface?


Yeah, it does. Every single word of them.



First of all, millions of congratz to Beyonce for her pregnancy! And man, was she proud to show off her round tummy to the whole world. What a proud and awesome mummy she will be! Jay-Z was all smilessssss. ;DDD


I like this song already. It sounds so, funky! 


Watching her singing and performing and giving her all on stage really makes me be in awe of her. She just seems like a superwoman to me, don't you feel so? With her voice so strong and loud, I'd pity Jay-Z if they ever get into a quarrel next time. Well, let's hope they won't la. XD





"But you know it's alright
I came to my senses
Letting go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time"


"Now I'm calling, calling out your name
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in
I'm all in tonight"


It has just become my favourite song for now. ;)


Can Lifehouse come to Malaysia? =( I know I only am familiar with a couple of their songs but still, I want them to comeeeee! Yeah, that's how obsessive I become with a band when I only come to love a couple of their songs. I WANTTT! ;D

29th August 2011, 11.11 p.m.

When life gives you bitter gourd, give it to a grandpa that needs it for dinner.

When life gives you chili, grind it and customize your own curry recipe. 

When life gives you onion, slice it and make a potato and onion broth. My favourite.

When life gives you a rainy day, go outside, spin around and drench yourself under the pouring water.

When life gives you chocolate, well, seize it all! ;D

That was just what I did! A Sunday surrounded with so much savoury chocolate that I seemed to melt into them. Not chocolate chocolate, but Book Fest chocolate. ;)

It's bliss after all to be surrounded by such a HUGE amount of books anyway. No, really.

 

There were just wayyyyy too many books that I wish I could buy. Good thing or what- I only brought 100 bucks there and then I realized I was under such a tight constraint to those tantalizing temptations. Really, I wish I could own all those books that I laid my eyes upon. Just wayyyy too brilliant to have them all for myself. I will, someday. 

And ohmygosh! I got Titania Hardie's Rose Labyrinth! It never even crossed my mind to even try to search for this book. Just like a wanderer, I went into the exhibition hall not having any specifications on the books that I intend to buy. Perhaps when under such a neutral mindset, it is of a higher chance that you get what you least expect which appeals to you too. Guess I got mine after all. Without the least bit hesitation, I grabbed one from the stack and stashed in gently into the basket I held. Thank God for such a wonderful gift.

 

63.90 bucks. Considered within the acceptable budget right? I hope so. There is still an external hard disk waiting for me this coming weekend at Mid Valley. ;P

 

More often than not, I do things randomly instead of intentionally. Even if it was intended, it became random afterward. Just like this, meant to mean something but becoming so random now. I like random. Random will be my thing. ;D

Life is as such. It is difficult. It gives you all kinds of stuffs that you never even wanted in the first place. It always goes against anything that you plan to do. It is never as soft as a bed of bright red roses. It is never a smooth journey where you can expect when the next stop will come. It is harsh, just like the weather in Savannah desert, extreme scorching heat in the light and piercing coldness in the dark. It is brutal, it never waits for you to get up, take a breath and plan your next strategies. It sprints into a run before you can say, START. It is jealous of the happiness we find. 

Well, maybe that is why we are here. 

Rainbow comes after the rain because we care to stand back, and spend a few moments to search the sky for colours. Smiles appear to hide those sad faces because you care enough to spare the little lives of the body cells in you. You fall, into a seemingly endless pit. When finally you feel like you have reached the bottom, it is pure darkness that your eyes could take in. Thanks to your helpful hands for groping around through this dark tunnel. You keep walking and walking, even when every lazy muscle in your legs is screaming out for you to stop. You won't listen to it. You know why? Because in your heart, you know that this tunnel will eventually lead to an opening. An opening lighted up by a brilliantly shining star, where not an inch on the ground will be left unlit. That's hope, and in hoping, you found your strength. That strength, brought you up to your feet once again. That strength, endures everything. That strength, is your inner will now.

If I got myself in, I'll get myself out. But for now, I'm still finding my way through. 

29th August 2011

11.11 p.m.

last friday night

For the past 18 years that I have been roaming this planet, I have never been for a karaoke session with my friends. Well, it all changed last Friday (night).

What an out of the blue outing I had.

What a random thing we did.

What a fun time we spent.

What an experience.

;)

Those old times we had during high school. Ahh, has it already been 2 years since we left school? How quickly time passes by us. Still, I'm glad I met you both. ;) Heartfelt speech okay? ;P

Someone please be so kindly as to figure out what on earth they were doing. I heard that they might wanna sign up in becoming the next Neway ambassadors. Probably.

The truth is, I wasn't hiding behind the LCD. I was just, leaning. ;P

It truly was an excellent experience. Surprisingly, there were no doubts or fears when your hand touched the mic and so naturally, your voice just pours onto it and amplified instantly. Yes, that was probably how it was like. I guess I've just got a thing for karaoke now. ;)

Let's have another one soon! ;D

jar of hearts

Love. And Hate. Such strong words that are used in our lives. A friend of mine asked, "Do you hate him?" I answered, "No, I don't." Maybe it's common for people to regard hatred to stem out from a damned love. Perhaps, it is what people come to feel after everything does not seem to fit in anymore, when everything falls apart all so abruptly, when no matter how many droplets of tears keep pouring out from your red puffy eyes, the wound is just too deep to be mended. 

Love, and Hate. Both these words bear such heavy meanings that to me, even time seems to be at a lost in removing the imprints they leave. Love, Hate, they make people do absurd things at their own willingness, they drive people insane, they ignite the sparks in us, they excite us, they amaze us, they appall us, they confuse us, they suffocate us, they destroy us, and they bring us down. 

Hatred should never exist in love. Yes, of course they are enemies and because of that, it is even more probable to keep them as far apart as space allows them to be. They say, the stronger the love, the greater the hatred when love fails. Why then, does it sound wrong? 

Never let hatred get in the way. It is just like a Decepticon, knowing nothing but destruction.

Just like the shining stars hanging onto the pitch black expanse. Only those eyes who want to unearth and dwell deep into the blitz surface in search of their true beauty will seek it. 

Just a simple gift. 

But if willing you are, the hidden secrets will reveal themselves to you. 

Just a simple thought. 

If you turn the knob to your heart, a token of appreciation lays before you. 

Just a simple mystery.

If it is what your heart desires, love awaits you on the other side of the door.

This day, I gave it all away. 

This day, the last efforts were poured in.

This day, heartfelt stories penned on papers are told.

This day, I may become a past of yours.

This day, this day.

With love,

Claira 

27/8, 11.48pm

the mockingbird

Songs are just, songs. They, in their basic form, do not mean anything to us. Lyrics, they do not mean anything to us, until we learn to associate them with something that had happened to us. Attribution. 

Sometimes, or rather most of the times, we overlook the efforts singers or songwriters have put it to produce great music. I guess we are so attuned to the easy-listening melodies and neglect the meanings in those gingerly crafted words.

There I was, sitting in the driver's seat, hands on the worn yet loyal steering wheel, easing my way through the ever-present congestion. Eminem's Mocking Bird exuded from the back speakers and so naturally, hitting the senses of my hearing. It was not a stranger to me, that song. Of course, the one reason that this song stayed in my memory all this while is the similar phrases with a nursery rhyme that had once been a part of my childhood companion. A mocking bird that would not sing, a diamond that would not shine, a looking glass that would break, a cart and bull that would turn over, a billy goat that would not pull, a doggie that would not bark. A girl that will always be his daddy's favourite girl. Yes, how identical they were. How these little details of importance are embedded into a song. How meaningful Eminem's song is once you channel your attention to the reasons beneath the composition of the song.

You have come so far. 

If you could know how things would end, will you do it all over again?

I would.

the old school

The Old School.

It might be because I was over bored or that it just happened to pass through my mind about my all-time favourite Taiwan drama. Oh yeah, if you're now in a state of immense shock, I can totally understand that. Not that I seem like a fan of Taiwanese drama anyway, right? ;P

Would it?

Sometimes I doubt this so-called 'strength' that I display. The seemingly happy face that I have to wear everyday, but when night falls, reality charges in. Because that's when everything becomes crystal clear again. How could I continue to deny it to myself? Watching you from afar, admiring the way you play the game, longing to take a closer look at that watch you wear, aching for what I know is already lost.

I dread the coming of 29th this month. I wouldn't know how it would all work out, I wouldn't know how you would react to it, for I dare not even imagine it myself. Perhaps it's all too frightening. I pray, I hope for the best. One thing I know, the 29th of this month seems to be the end of everything. Seems like it.

I secretly wish it won't be.

"When you're watching a drama and there is that one person you think about, that's where your heart points to."

Let's pray, and God will show the way. =)

someone's coming to town

So here it is. The Youth Concert is back! I feel bad for not attending the previous years but now that TS has asked my help to give out flyers and all, I guess I should might as well promote it here too. =)

If you're really really interested in it and I do hope so much that you are, just click here. =)

Rock Away Fest 2011! Oh man oh man oh man! Can you believe your eyes?? I definitely can't! Look! I mean, look at the two topmost names in the poster above! It's Sum 41 and Dashboard Confessional! Lately, I've developed this inexplicable interest in Dashboard Confessional and such coincidentally, they are coming to Malaysia to perform! *faints* I wanna go so badly. =((

Someone sponsor me pleaseee? =)

the inflating balloon

I'm no superwoman, and no superhuman. I'm not capable of doing anything and everything and still being okay about it in the end. No, I'm not that great okay? I'm a human too. How could you just throw every question on me and expect me to solve the whole thing? Sometimes I just wish that people would at least give me a freaking damn break and look at things from my point of view, you know. You can't just depend on me alone and still think that I am okay with it. No, I am not okay with it all. I break down too. And for goodness' sake, don't ever tell me what to do and what not to do. Honestly, you can't and you shouldn't.

It's like, I'm now standing on the edge of this wall dividing patience and impatience. Yes, I'm on the verge of falling under the spell of impatience. Lately, I find myself keep reminding and planting this thought into my mind to be patient and patient and patient. I'm sorry but at times, you just have to understand that there is a limit. You just have to understand you can't step over the line and expecting me to understand it and take it lightly. 

Right now, I'm having that feeling whereby you feel like every burden's on you. So yeah, I'm about to break down any moment. Man seriously, gimme a freaking break!

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs, so much.

=((

every limp is a stab to my heart

Tonight, I really witnessed something that really broke my heart into millions of pieces. Seeing you in pain makes the pain in my heart twice as much. You have no idea. I guess it's really the first time ever I see that pained look you have on your face. And how that foot of yours seemed so badly sprained. It was hard enough to have to watch you go through this ordeal alone, and harder still to know that there wasn't anything, anything at all, that I could do to make this pain go away. 

They came so naturally this night. All the tears just kept streaming down my cheeks.

Every limp is a stab to my heart.

"If you let me, I'll never let you go. Never. I promise."

"You know I will."

;DDDDDD

LOOK!!! Harry Potter's poster! Like, THE poster! *jumps around*

Isn't that awesome? Like, I never really had a poster before. Well, not that I keep them anyway but this is so different. This was a gift from Mr Winston. How cool is that for a lecturer to give you a poster of your favourite book/movie series! Thank you so much sir! ;D

And you know what? Mum said I could even frame it! And yes, that is what I'm so gonna do with this super duper awesome poster. Oh by the way, it has this odd smell and I don't know if it's the ink or the type of paper it used. But it's still a poster of Harry Potter! ;D

Enough said. ;D

Two days ago, A levels' results were released. I know, I know, you may think that it has nothing to do with me but you're wrong. It has EVERYTHING to do with me. I wished you luck the night before, I wished you luck on the day itself again. I guess it should not be a wonder to you or anyone and definitely not even to myself as to why I did that. Perhaps, that was what I would have done even if the condition is not how it already is now. 

That night itself, I asked again. Oh well, maybe it's not your choice to share with me anymore. If only you knew how much it hurts to know that. But of course, I am glad that you seemed quite okay with your results. I guess it's better to be hurt by not knowing than to hear of your disappointment or sadness. I may not know what will be your next step is, or where you are heading after this. I wish I would know, I wish you would let me know. But whatever it is, you know you have my best wishes and all the luck in the world. =')

"Thanks for caring."

"You know I will." 

autumn's falling

Hey people! It's August already! How quickly time flies, doesn't it? This time last year, everything was different. Just within a year, so much has changed. So much, I might even be caught off guard had I not been in the midst of all these.

Mum's BACKKK!!! Yes, from Hong Kong. It was barely a full week and I've started to miss her in the first few days. Gee, just imagine if I would study overseas or something like that. 

Anyway, today is the last day of the first week of August. I actually had this plan for this month's 29th but then, you know how people say "man proposes, God disposes". Yeah, that's kinda exactly how the situation is like now. I can't be 100% sure about it but it seems as if the chances of it happening are pretty high. Even a 50-50 is enough to put me off guard. So let's just hope I would be able to make it by then. =)

You know, it's a good thing to save your chat history. I do that, all this while. And today, I just opened our old conversations and read through them. I only managed to read half of them but it was more than enough to get these eyes watery. Those words we said, those promises we exchanged and those memories we shared between us, when compared to the situation right now, it's just, crashing. Like, emotions crashing down. Like, your heart crashing down. Like, me, crashing down all so suddenly. 

"we always end up well"

"if not we also won't be how we are now"

I suppose we did. We always manage to make things right after an unfavourable event. Always, even though it may take days to be on perfectly good terms again. 

*pause*

How did we end up this way?

This plan, this thing that I want to do for you, for one final time *if ever*, I don't even know for sure the reason behind for doing it all. One minute, I was so sure and so determined to get it down no matter what because that lingering hope and faith are the hidden driving forces that keep me going. Yet, when I was so absorbed into these works, I started to question myself. So much that I become doubtful of myself, of my feelings, of everything. Why do I do what I did? Should I even continue it all? Do I even dare to imagine how the outcome would be? 

I don't know. I really don't. But I have come so far, too far to even take a step back and have second thoughts about it. Perhaps it is what my heart tells me to do.

"my heart points to you"

Now I could only whisper, "Mine too, mine too."

Only you know the meaning behind this. I miss us. Truly.

a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets

I watched Titanic today. Yes, I can watch Titanic for countless times and never get bored of it.

I would usually cry in the same scenes everytime I watch, but this time, it was different. There were tears welled up in my eyes but not so much as the previous times I watched it. In fact, the tears came at the most unexpected scenes I would have imagined.

I would cry at this scene. Very much usually. Starting from the time when Jack insists that Rose gets onto the lifeboat but she refuses because she just couldn't bear to leave without him. 

Rose: Not without you.

This too. The "Promise me" part. 

Instead, the tears came most when these words were spoken. "He exists now only in my memory." It's just, so fitting, perhaps. Every single word of it. Yeah, I cried. 

Titanic is one movie that I don't think I'll ever get bored with. Honestly, I have lost count of the times I watch this movie. From 4pm this evening till 7 plus late evening. The longest movie I've watched too. 

Rose jumps off the boat to be with Jack. Doesn't that just show what a girl is capable of and willing to do for love?

Jack wants Rose to promise him to continue to fight for her life and never let go of that promise. He lets Rose stay afloat on the board while he suffers the extreme coldness of the water. A guy could just do the same for love as well.

And I'm another idiot doing all for love too.