say a little prayer

Barely a week's left before my semester 3 begins. In fact, there's only 4 day to go to be exact. Almost 2 months of holiday for me and I guess it was fruitful after all.

1. Trip to Penang

2. Had a 180 degree makeover to my hair, which I very much prefer my previous one with my bare forehead. Gosh, I miss that look. 

3. Read a few novels; 2 of which are from one of my favourite author, Nora Roberts aka JD Robb. And also The Wasted Vigil by Nadeem Aslam, highly recommended. The beauty in his writing is just breathtaking. 

4. Finished watching the complete drama series of Full House. =)

Well, other than that, I think I failed to make it a habit of going brisk walking in the evenings. I just did not stick to the promise I made to myself. Sigh. 

Oh, and 5. I finally shopped for some clothes! ;P

Time seems to pass by so quickly you hardly realize it. You know how people always say, "It seems just like yesterday that...". I guess it makes sense after all. It seems just like yesterday that we finished our semester 2 finals. It doesn't seem like it's already a year ago that we went back to school for our SPM results. Some of us are already in their degree years. And us, just a few months more before we embark on that journey. A whole new experience, much more different than what we are going through now I believe.

And when you have so much time that you have no idea what to do with it, it starts to bother you about doubts and questions and insecurities or maybe fear of the future and what would happen. What is it that will unfold right in front of eyes?

I guess I've been in a dilemma ever since I've realized my interest has taken a different toll on me. Maybe this is where people would say circumstances force people to grow up. But how am I to do so without so much an advice as "Follow your interest."? And maybe that's why sometimes it occurs to me that humans have been laid out too many options and choices for them that it actually makes it even harder for them to decide on only one.

Sometimes, maybe more than that, I wonder why in the world did I insist on doing communications. Why in the world did I not pursue in science field as most of my friends do. Perhaps A-levels or something? I thought I would not have any regrets doing so because I was so sure of what I wanted to be that perhaps I'd actually sealed off all other doors available to me. 

It actually saddens me that I'm no longer gonna do maths and it frustrates me even more so that I might even forget how to work the solution out or forget about the formulas that were so deeply rooted in my memory I would have no difficulty recalling them. I loved maths. I still do. Perhaps that's why it affects me so much.

And now, I'm in a crossroad. Each route that I would take has entirely different expectations and experiences. Each would have different ups and downs. Each has its own attraction that tempts me so much into returning their favour. 

But it is the deciding part that poses a major problem for me right now.

Questions, questions and more questions. They will just remain unanswered.

I used to assure myself that I should not regret for the choices I made but it is the choices that I did not make or choose not to make that makes them regrettable. 

Perhaps, all we need sometimes is a little breather.