23rd June 2011.
Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the same again. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This ending is not how it was supposed to be. There should be no ending at all. I tried so hard to try to patch things right, to mend this gaping hole between us, but it's all too late. Perhaps. But the more I tried, the more barriers you have formed. I wasn't allowed to enter anymore. I'm right here, and you're so far away from me. What can I do anymore? I don't know. I wish I knew, I wish I could change things, I wish you would allow me to make things right. Why is it so difficult?
Why does it always happen to me? Because I'm weak? Or maybe because I'm the one who has been holding on too tightly that I've been blinded. Every time I build up my trust on something or someone, the cracks eventually appear all so sudden it catches me by surprise. There isn't anything I could do but let it get to me and slowly break me down. I try to be strong. Try to pretend everything's okay. Try to put on the smile. Try to pretend to be fine. But deep down, I'm not fine. I'm breaking into pieces. And I'm not sure time can heal. I'm really not fine at all this time. I can't be strong always. I'm simply falling apart now.
You were mine, and I was yours. Things have changed. But the feelings remained. What happened to those? I'm crying all my heart out but no one can hear me, not you, but only I hear them. There won't be anymore waiting for your text messages. 11.11 won't have the same meaning as before. Promises told are foregone. I don't even know how to face you now. There's no more waiting for the 1 year to come. How silly of me. Maybe I'm suffering alone now. But if you do, I won't know it. I wonder if it affects you as much as it affects me, hurts you as much as it hurts me. I don't know. I wish I knew.
What can I say? What can I do? Everything. And nothing.
You were supposed to be these.
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