but she just never reached him

29th June 2011.

It was supposed to be the day. Our day. 

It was supposed to be a celebration. Our celebration.

It was supposed to be a day of joy and love. Our joy and love.

It was supposed to be a duo. Me and you.

It was supposed to be the tenth month. 

It was supposed to be. 

It was.

I made it through a week. 7 days.

But, what a coincidence. 

Why did it fall on this day? 

I tried so hard. Believe me. 

I'm still trying, cause I'm still stuck, somewhere in between. It's not an easy position to get out of. And who knows how long will I take to get up on my feet again?

There won't be You, holding my hands and stopping my from cracking my knuckles. There won't be You, helping me to massage whenever I get tired at the end of the day. There won't be You,  wishing my good night before heading to bed. There won't be You, being my companion for silly jokes and tickles. There won't be You, for the lovely and comfy cuddles. There won't be You, to fill in the gaps between my fingers. There won't be You, to provide me warmth when I'm shivering with coldness. There won't be You, wishing me Happy Monthiversary. There won't be You, ending the wish with a simple I Love You. 

I screwed it all.

"well just another 29th of the month. "

Seeing that, gave me hope. Because deep down, something tells me you still remember. Something tells me you still care. Something tells me, there's still hope. Something tells me, it's not completely over. 

But, the comments. Sighh. I wish I never seen it. But I have. And nothing saddens me more to know that you're happy with your decision now. Nothing saddens me more to know that it seems that you have gotten used to our situation now but here I am, still struggling to adapt, still struggling to adjust, still struggling with the truth. Still at war with my heart when my mind knows full well what is with us now. Call me silly, call me naive, call me foolish, anything you want. But I can't help it, nor can I save it anymore. I realized, chances are really rare. So believe me, when you have been given any chances at all, grab it. You might not know what it might lead you to, but at least you've taken it. No regrets, simple as that. I was given plenty of chances that I didn't know of. I lost grip of them. Though I tried so hard to chase them back, it was just futile. I still fight so hard, until the very end. Maybe it's not worth it, but to me, it's the only thing worth doing now.

No matter how much I want to be your reminder of today, I can't, I resisted. 

7 days. 1 week. 10 months. 

Isitokaytosayimissyou?Causeireallydo.Somuch.