time to crayonize

So, it's the final day of the year and just 2 hours and a half away from 2013. Ironic though; despite me saying that the year is ending very soon, I still do not quite feel the 'something' of this whole ending and beginning. Really, the reason I used 'something' is because I could not find the right word to describe what that something is. To say it's the 'feel', it does not really imply it. To say it's the 'atmosphere', I do not seem to think so because the word itself makes me think of celebration and my 'something' is not at all about the whole celebration thing. To say it's a form of 'reflection', it is still the more unlikely because, I don't know, reflection of this past year (not even past yet) does not seem to be so significant compared to previous years.

And therefore, I still could not find the perfect word to describe my meaning.

This 'something' could just be a combination of all, well, except for the celebration part. It's more like an impact, a force, something that strikes you hard that you'd go, 'Oh wow, it's the end of another year and a new one is dawning upon me.' That kind of 'something', you know.

Right, I'm talking Greek. 

But I think it is necessary that a degree of reflection on the entire year be done, though of course, this whole thing seems a little too cliche-ish. But still, I suppose it is the time of the year where people would just take a moment out of their busy schedules and think about all the things that they have done, the things that they have achieved, the things that they resolved to do in the year before, be it done or not, or perhaps some little, or huge mistakes that we wish for ever more not to have committed. 

People have always been talking about new year's resolution at this time of the year. This year's not exceptional either. My mum asks me about it, and my pastor does so to. Well, before I graduated from high school, my new year's resolution was surely all academic-oriented (not that it's not so now). You know, they were like, 'Oh, I wanna get straight As for SPM' and things like that. They were just that clear. I don't think they ever needed much more thought than from the surface. Then college years came, and suddenly everything felt like being through a total makeover. It even came to a point where I did not even know what my resolution should be. Everything could be so vague and so misty for awhile.

Sometimes it terrifies you, don't it?

At least it is so for me.

I think I am a person that is okay with uncertainty but when there is too much that I do not know of, perhaps that is where the worrying begins. 

I guess?

Why don't I have a close friend that studies psychology? Like really, I could have those personality or psychological (not to test mentally-related illnesses) tests for free. :P

New year's resolution was something that seems to be a 'must' last time. But not anymore for now.

Or I just don't feel the same.

When people ask me what is my new year's resolution for next year, I honestly could not answer this question. So please, understand my situation and don't ask. :P

That aside, I believe this year has been quite a fruitful year to me as well. Let's see, I got through two degree semesters this year without failing any subjects, or close to failing any (thank God for that). And though I may be a little anxious about this semester's performance, all I can do is just to hope for the best and have faith that God will bring me though. :)

What else? Oh, and I'm really proud and glad to say that I am now a true Christian. It's not that I did not believe previously; I just wasn't sure what I believed in and where I stood. Honestly, people used to ask me questions like, 'Are you a Christian?', 'Why do you have a Christian name but do not sit for the Chinese paper exam?', 'Do you celebrate CNY?' 

You know, I believe that there is this misconception living among us. Firstly, let me explain this: Not all Chinese students sit for the Chinese paper in PMR and SPM. Those who sit for the papers are usually Chinese-educated and that means, simply knowing how to speak Chinese doesn't mean you will have to sit for the exam. I know there may be people who do not understand this but I hate to admit that this question can be really irritating at times. You just get sick and tired of people asking this seemingly common knowledge.

Okay, vented. Apologies for any offence caused. :)

 

Ahh, Gi Kwang. :D

So back to the topic: I did not know how to answer such questions because I wasn't even sure if I was a Christian. But to keep it short, I am clear with myself now. I know I am a true Christian now and I know that my faith lies in Christ. :)

Oh by the way, I do celebrate CNY. Just for the record, in case you have those meant-for-short-lived thoughts of not giving angpaos to me. :P

This year also saw our friendship grew. Yes, growing doesn't necessarily mean everything is heading into a good direction. No, to me, I think that growth in friendship means having more understanding about the bonds that we form. This understanding may not stem from a positive source, it could be the cause of something unpleasant but still, it's because of such happenings that we come to see clearly who we are and who we fill our surroundings with. I think that's growth. :)

We had our fights and arguments, bickering and teases, cold wars and harsh comments and we saw each other's weakness. We also had our share of laughter and joy, playful times and moments, long hours of hard work together and most importantly, we seem to have turn those assignment struggling moments into a period of shared ups and downs. Oh yes, and added the Big Orange into our list of directory. I mean, seriously, by the end of our degree, we could just come out with our mini directory booklet, with the Big Orange and both the Paris towers as main emphasis.

Might as well include this achievement into our resume. :D

Lastly, one huge turnaround for me this year (as mentioned before), was my surprisingly new interest in Kpop. Oh damn, it sounds so unlike me just by mentioning it. Oh well, change that impression you have had of me before. :P

Ah yes, it's not just an interest now. I'm afraid to say that it has wrecked havoc within me and transformed into a much more wild and unrestrained fervour. Don't make me go into details, for I dare not think of how this would end. :P

Just know that: #G-dragon #bigbang #beast

Ah, what a year, really. We make history yet again. So who says only important people make history? We are history creators ourselves too. My, that leads me to say, who says we can't do great things too? :D

Isn't it amazing when inspiration comes flooding into your mind in the midst of blogging? Yes, just perfect. :)

Nonetheless, 

HAPPY 2013 all! :)

here to stay

There's an announcement/declaration to be done. One that has affected my life ever since. One that has changed my mindset and perception completely. One that is not only shocking to myself but also to those who know me pretty well.

Several weeks back, MAMA was held in Hong Kong and so happened, my curiosity was piqued and instinctively, I tuned into the live broadcast of the award ceremony. What was more surprising was that I actually stayed in front of the TV for the full three-hour plus despite not knowing many of the performers and artistes. Although my reluctance was quite strong, I still had to admit that my heart was longing so much for Big Bang's performance. Well yeah, I've heard a lot about them and not to mention I'm always in the presence of someone who is crazily into them. So yeah, I was equally excited and anxious about them coming on to the stage, because after so many other performances, there was still no sight of them. But when they finally did come out, woah, I was totally blown off my feet.

You just have to admit they are the ones who are capable of bringing the place down. :D

That night opened up my eyes to another level. I've heard songs that I quite like and immediately the day after, I searched for them as well as re-watching all the performances during that ceremony. But there was one particular song that interested me so freaking much that I guess this group had then become my favourite obsession of all. :)

You know, those who knew me would surely be surprised by this sudden change in me. Gee, I'm making it sound like I've been a pretty stubborn person in music taste. Perhaps I am? I don't know, maybe not? :P

Kpop has been one of my biggest resistance and rejection all this while. It wasn't that I disliked or anti-ed them, I just didn't want to be wholly affected and influenced by the Korean wave. 

Too bad I am now. :P

Yes, I here now declare that I am into Kpop and I am wholly in love with Beast and Big Bang. The fangirl mode in back in me, and it has returned with much greater impact and enthusiasm. You know those reactions of fantasizing a relationship with artistes? Um yeah, that's pretty much the extent of my fervour now. I'm sure one day I'm gonna meet Hyun Seung and G-Dragon. They're the cutest and most beautiful persons ever alive. Oh gosh.

Hyun Seung and Gi Kwang- personal favourites of Beast. :D

Oh my.

He's the loveliest guy ever. <3 font="font">

Alright, that's about it. 

Thought of dying my hair red too. Should I? :)

#hyunseung #g-dragon #beast #bigbang #forever

\m/

if sky was ever the limit

You know, the world was 'supposed' to end 3 days ago. All those Mayan prophecies and what-nots. They got the whole world talking about it and from the news that I have read, some people actually went to the extend of building a bullet-looking container that was said to be able to fit up to 60 people, with a basin and toilet within.

I'm not being cynical or what, but really, if a doomsday really happens, nothing can prevent it from happening. All these are out of our capabilities. It's supernatural forces that we are seeing, only God can do this and no one will know what God's plans are.

Anyway, that aside, I find it quite a wonder with all the posts on Facebook on the supposed doomsday itself. Yes, of course, it's the time of the year where most students like us have our final examinations and assignments and any-academic related business any university could think of of giving their poor students. But really, just because of exams, I see posts that wish for the end of the world to happen just so they would not have to undergo those tenuous moments.

I guess sometimes, people can be so, I don't know, hard to please? No, I'm not excluding myself from this too. I just wouldn't wish for the world to end to trade for an exemption from exams. :P

I mean, really, imagine if the world really ended and what would people be posting about it? (Considering we all have hours left to do our last minute Facebook postings or tweets and not to mention time for us to prepare ourselves- if that ever helps) I bet there would be posts like, 'I wish the world would not end today. I have yet to finish my exam.' I mean, why not? :P

But things like these may be a little good for our brain though. It's during such seemingly hopeless situations that our brain really begin to function like the engines of Jenson Button's race track machine. And then you start to have thoughts about the things that you have accomplished in your life, the things that you would want to do if more time were given to you or maybe the things that you would really regret not doing. I guess at some point in our lives, those thoughts will spring into our minds. And those are the times that our decisions would be most drastic, I guess?

I have yet to explore enough of the world, so for the world to end at this time is definitely a big no-no. Besides, who are we to decide when the world should end since we are only His creations? Don't the Creator Himself has the full right to his creations? :)

So let us not worry about the unknown, for He will take full care of it. If we live in Him, we will have His peace. That's how it should be. No more man-made arks unless instructed.

Just have faith in Him and there's no need for more worries. :)

festive bells in the air

Hellooooooo peepsssss!

Oh yes, I'm back.

Tons of apologies for the extremely long and should-not-be absence. It was not deliberate, I promise you. So much for this semester's hectic schedule and endless assignments one after another. They just never end, do they? Well, at least not until the final week of the semester.

Still, my third semester has officially ended and the holidays are here! That's all that we all need to know for now. :D

The finals was pretty difficult to be honest. Out of the five papers, CRF was the one that I was more assured of. The other four, oh well, it's best I do not go into the details.

Also, we celebrated Christmas yesterday! It was actually my very first time celebrating Christmas like that. When it comes to Christmas, most people will think of feasting, presents, movies, gifts and snow. But this year's meaning has changed for me. This year has been one truly enlightening year. I am proud to say that I am now a frequent church-goer and a true believer in Christ. Everything has been really good this year. :)

The performance that we put on went on pretty smooth too, despite the increasingly fast heartbeat that I suffered from as each second passed by until the time when I were to give my testimony. Terrifyingly nerve-wrecking experience. 

To all friends and people who celebrate Christmas worldwide, have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! :D

It's the day to celebrate the birth of our Saviour! :D