right, doesn't mean right always

Right, guess I've been MIA for some seriously long time here. Jeez, when was the last time I blogged man?! Oh no, unacceptable! So anyway, I feel like my days are passing by, um, slowly. Idk, seriously. Lately, everyday just doesn't seem like the day itself. Maybe I've even lost count of the days.

Been feeling kinda off colour these couple of days. Maybe it was partly our faults, maybe I myself couldn't really get over it and just accept it as it. Maybe also because it's almost similar to something else, as in, some kinda metaphor thing? You know, that feeling when you want that day to be perfect and it just did until something crops up and spoils everything. That frustration just boils inside you know.

Or can I blame it on PMS?

Oh, and btw, I'm afraid to say that I might be fueling more interest in film studies/cinematography/anything to do with films and losing out in journalism. Oh yeah, frustration, disappointment and guilt then and now the fear and uncertainty. And you know what, I've been scouring the net for undergraduate course in film studies abroad. Not to mention another to be considered in financial wise. And when I start to fantasize about me studying abroad but restricted with this issue, I also ponder and sometimes envy those people my age who do not have to worry a single thing for their further education. Their parents have all the money that they needed to support their children's education. I mean, they really do not have to worry about anything at all! Seriously, I wonder what do they worry about man. And sometimes I just think, why are they so damn lucky but we have to go through all these just for our own education. But then again, elderly always say, especially mum, to be grateful for what we have; do not compare ourselves with those more fortunate/richer but if really want to, compare to those less fortunate. Well of course, it's damn easy to say but for a person with my age, it's not that easy. Hell, of course I want more with my life. I want an education abroad, I want to study what I have in mind. But things are just so difficult sometimes!

I guess all I can do is just pray to God and work my way there.

*sigh*

Life should be a hell lot easier than this.