i feel your pain

Life is so unpredictable. One could never know what would happen the next instant. Nor do we know what to expect. One second you might be cheering and talking so loudly just like a mischievous lil kid, the next second, who knows?

Sometimes when you least expect something to happen, that is when it happens. It is scary, no doubt of that. Because there will not be any certainty that you will be ready when it happens. I came across a quote, saying, "expect the worst but hope for the best". It makes perfect sense, doesn't it? But who could have thought it would be so hard to stick to that saying?

Or maybe in life, people just seem to take things for granted. Whether consciously or unconsciously, people are just used to the way things are. People just accept everything they have in life without even questioning or reasoning out. And there are just some things that people have never given a second thought about it yet they assume those things will always be there when they need them most.

Life and death, they are unavoidable and inseparable. We read the newspapers and there it was, some people just passed away in certain mishaps or misfortune. Perhaps people should just spare one minute of their lives reflecting on those events. Yes, they do not happen unto us, why should we give so much of a thought about it? That's just the way people think. On the contrary, I myself find these events unsettling and horrible which is why I feel somewhat repulsive towards such news.

People should really reflect on their lives sometimes. It might be too late when something you do not wish to happen dawns upon you. 

People live, and eventually, they die. We just cannot escape it. It's the life cycle. 

I witnessed and experienced and felt for something that happened just very recently. It is not a pleasant feeling. It is never ever close to pleasant. It made me think and wonder and reflect back on many things in my life. As I sat on my bed, staring wildly at random things in my bedroom, all kinds of possibilities and wild imagination ran through my mind. There were so many what-ifs and why and how. Maybe we just seek answers to questions that are left unanswered. 

Take some time, and think about the worst possibilities that could happen to you.

What if you lose someone close to you?

What if one day, you are left on your own all alone?

What if you feel so sad that you thought you would not smile anymore?

What if one of your close family member left this world?

What if those mishaps that you read or hear in the news happen to you?

I thought of so much about it. And somehow, it disturbed me. It frightens me. I do not want to lose someone I am so close to and someone I love so much. The pain is unbearable. When I see the pain of my beloved cousin brothers' loss, my heart aches for them. I want to be there for them, I want to hug them and reassure them that things will be alright. But things are just not right! How could things be right anymore? 

Again, it made me think of how close we used to be when we were all young kids. When we used to play together. When we had lots of fun together. The games we played, the laughter we shared. What has became of life man? It is just so unpredictable.

I love them more now. I believe I do.

People, just spare a few minutes of your time in complete silence at night and just sit on your bed and think about all these. You would not know what would happen. These are not taboos, this is life. Somehow as we grow up, we just have to be more matured and wonder about all these. As I sat in silence last night, I thought about it all. I certainly do not want it to happen to me. And when I thought about it, I realized I need to appreciate the people around me more. Never take anyone or anything for granted. That is not how things work best.

I never wanted all this to happen. I never wished it to happen. Not to people whom I am close to. Not to people whom I love dearly. Not to people whom I weep for and with them. Not to people whom I feel their pain.

Last word for you people, appreciate everything and everyone around you and never ever take them for granted. You just won't know when God will take it away from you.

R.I.P.