Saturday
Hmm
Suddenly feeling all so sober
Everything's beginning to change
It's not the sane anymore
And it won't be the same anymore
Human resist changes
That's so true
I guess
Maybe I resist it too
It's just too hard to accept it
Lately
I've been wondering you know
How my life would turn out to be
Witnessing my cousin sis
Now so successful at a young age
She's flown to almost all around the world
And it all started from her joining in the airlines
Cathay Pacific
And her life is so good now
So blessed
I'm happy for her too
And my other cousin bros
One of them, my cousin sis's elder bro
Came out into the adult world long time ago
And another cousin bro
Finished spm last year
Expected results
Ventured into his father's car servicing business for sure
And now
It's gonna be my turn
Time flies so quickly
Seems just like yesterday I transferred to cochrane
And now
I'll be sitting for my spm in like, 2 weeks' time?
Hmm
It just sounds so scary you know
Everything totally freaks me out
Fear of growing up
Fear of more responsibilities
Fear of the outside world
Fear of being an adult
Strange huh
I mean, most teens would for sure wanna quickly grow up and have complete freedom
And yet, I'm afraid to do so
I dunno
Just thinking bout this makes me feel so timid myself
Like, I'm so powerless
So vulnerable
So easily hurt
In two months' time
My whole life would totally change
There'll be no more school days like we used to
No more pampering
No more spoon feeding
No more protection
It'll all have to be from myself
That's how it is right?
The world
Is such
I can't deny
I'm really scared of growing up
It's a part of life
I know
It's still scary
I just dunno how my life would turn out to be
Whether it will turn out how I dream it would be
Or the other way round
Either one, scares me too
I am afraid
For once in my entire 17 years of living on earth, I admit I am totally afraid right now
Dear God
Guide me
Make way for me
I put my faith in You
xoxo just for you
claira.xoxo
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