that girl behind the beautiful smile

I know a girl, who hides behind her smile. She does not know how her smile impacts the people around her. She does not realize how bright her smile can be. She is not aware how her smile may appear like the sun's beams to the greenery surrounding her. 

I know a girl, who lacks the confidence in having pictures taken of her. She has no idea how badly the person behind the camera wishes to capture that laughter she lets off. She is clueless of the value a single moment of hers becomes to a person. 

It is a normality to think of the flaws that we have ourselves. Yet, when we set our eyes too much or too long on these flaws that we own, we forego the uniqueness and special features that we posses as well. 

I wish to let her know that she does not need to be shy to look straight into the camera and out on her best smile. I wish to let her know that her confidence is what gives people hope even in the darkest hours. I wish to let her know that she has to be the first to believe and be convinced of her own beauty before anyone else can have the right to do so. I wish to let her know she's beautiful even if she does not realize it now yet. I wish to let every single human being on earth to know that they are special in their own way. I wish to let them know that they are beautiful.

You, if you are reading this, are as beautiful as you wish to be.

You are. You just gotta believe it.

genuinesmnity

Hypocrisy thrives everywhere. In workplace, in homes, in us. Whether intentional or unintentional, at some point, some where in our lives, we're bound to say this and do the other. Some people have become so used to such practice that they have no difficulty or remorse in doing so. I'll just call them seasoned hypocrites. I'm not directing this to anyone. It's just, for the period that I've been working in a corporate environment, even if it's only a tenth of the entire company, I could say I've been witness to such unintentional dishonesty. And I thought to myself, who could escape such a thing? 

Then there are those that meant well but they inevitably resort to this way. I bet people are bound to do it. Not because we want to but we thought that there are no other choices. Reasons for it? I don't want to hurt your feelings. I simply want to protect you. I can only tell you when the time is right. It's not what you think it is. It's not supposed to be this way. You weren't supposed to see it happen. I meant well.

To judge an act like this to be good or bad, that's definitely not the place for us. How can it be us when we ourselves succumb to it as well? But from an outsider's point of view, I've seen it happen, I've learned.

Let's be true to ourselves. Like Optimist Prime! :D

Stay calm and read Harry Potter. Or other books from Rowling. Yes, she's coming out with a new book. Not Harry Potter or anything about Quidditch. Let's just wait, if it's worth buying, I'll fork out those cash. 

No, I'm just gonna buy it. :D

into Mowgli's terrain

The weekend 14 days ago was the most pumped up one by far this year. For two days straight, I had activities planned out right before my eyes. After Saturday's concert at Stadium Merdeka, which was a pretty brief one and far from my expectation of a pop punk princess as Avril, I had another day ahead on Sunday that was definitely gonna be filled with more intense and muscle-provoking activities.

What initially turned out to be a mere proposition took no time in transforming into a planned event. What's more, there were more people attending that I had thought so. Quite reluctant at first but later receded to it. Besides, I was the one who went gaga over the idea of walking the canopy walk.

Yup, FRIM's canopy walk. A canopy walk should be one every human's must-do list before one leaves this place. You know, just go ahead and take in the beautiful scenery from a monkey's point of view atop a tree and not concentrating on how many metres high you are from the ground.

Sometimes I find that I'm pretty good at getting lost. Really. I woke up almost an hour later than I intended and being so groggy at that time, my mind was having a private conversation with itself of what time I was supposed to wake up. Good thing it didn't ask why did I wake up that early. :P

So it happened. I got lost again and everyone was sorta waiting for my arrival. Urgh, I felt bad enough already without you people staring at me. :P

The awkwardness was absent from my first face-to-face meeting with the silly Huei Yeng. I bet she's easily identifiable among the group for being the loudest of all. We hastily walked off to locate the ticket counter for the canopy walk. Well, that was the ultimate force that drew me to FRIM. 

The walk took, the whole morning. The canopy walk was new to me and I was super excited when I finally climbed up those stairs to the second level of the tower. I felt like a ranger already. :D

By afternoon, we had reached the point where we began. You know, sometimes the seemingly simplest thing is actually the most difficult to decide. Like, where to eat?

Man, I've always had trouble when people ask me this question. Don't ask me that.

Lunch, done.

Badminton, here we come. :)

Gee, how long have I stopped playing badminton? I know, I know. Laziness speaks louder here, I'll just keep my mouth closed tight! So the consequence for such intense sports after a super long hiatus? Extreme muscle ache the next day. And the day after. And the day after that. Ouchhhh!

FRIM canopy walk. Check!

I shall make a things-to-do-before-I-die list and this would be the first I'll check it! :D

Thanks a bunch mate for making this event a success. Psst, I only suggested, so no credit to me. :P

witness to a blessing in disguise

Behold! One of the biggest star and also my all-time favourite icon was in town a couple of weeks back. Who? 

None other than the pop punk princess Avril Lavigne! 

Yup, you heard it right. I never thought I would have the chance to see her performing live especially since the last concert I went to was not very long from this show. Of course, I knew how strongly the voice inside me was urging me to do whatever it takes to get myself to see her. Then there was also another voice, which is always the case, that persisted so badly against me going, especially when it comes to money matters. :P

I really do thank God very much. You may say it's luck, I would prefer to call it God's blessing. :)

Somehow, my entry for a particular contest was showered with God's love and blessing and tadda! I had to admit I was in quite a trance when I received that mail of congratulations. The sheer amazement and joy were gifts that cannot be bought by cash. I could just be the luckiest and happiest person on earth at that instant! 

Unfortunately, there were pretty upsetting accounts prior to that night of performance. To shorten the otherwise pages-long story, it was actually like that:

Early in the morning, I was so pumped up that THE day has finally arrived and hence, wasted no more time after breakfast to redeem my tickets. Who knew that the office was not opened on a weekend and of course, calling the office number had turned out to be completely futile. Immensely dejected and sad, I returned home and was just too disappointed to do anything much. Not to mention the flu has hit me yet again. You know, if momma is separated from me, I don't know if I can live my life the way I live it now. No, really. She immediately told me what I should do, this and that. In the afternoon, she drove us to the stadium and to make matters worse, the rain started dropping harder and in bigger drops than the ones before them. Momma did all the talking and convincing and pleading and everything she could. Fast-forward and the second time I was at the stadium was in the evening. Me and bro could only cling onto the hope that the people had settled it among themselves and would give the tickets to us. It turned out to be a far cry from being easy. They refused our pleas because they say "it's not them handling my contest." Then momma came as well, because I told her I might be able to get another pair of tickets. So for almost 2 hours, we waited, and waited, and still waited. This guy, Ferhad, I'll never forget his kindness and generosity. Despite all the complications that had dawned on us and him, he gave us 3 tickets and made our night the happiest ending there could ever be.

Two things momma said that had been ingrained in my mind.

"Blessing in disguise."

I think so too. Momma said the ultimate lesson of the entire day. All the hard work, all the disappointment and suffering, all the hopelessness, it comes down to one thing: Perseverance. I know it's a test from God. There's nothing in life that is easy and free. But if you continue to keep going and not give up hope in yourself and most importantly in God, He will shine the way and lead you to you goal.

"I will fight for your tickets."

When momma said it to me, I realized at that instant that even if I do not get to attend Avril's concert, I would not regret it. Maybe momma would not realize it but those words meant the world to me. They make the tickets seem unimportant. They make every bit of energy from us worthwhile. They make me a daughter who can never be prouder of her mother. They make everything look so minute. They make love the ultimate winner.

Yes, even if we do not get the tickets to go on that night, I would not regret it. I know I wouldn't. Because after all, I've seen what a mother's love can do to her children.

Thank you God, Thank you momma. :)

a romance from St. Andrews

If I never watched, I never knew. 

If I never knew, I wouldn't be loving it so much right now.

This was what I indulged myself in last night. I have to admit though, Prince William is so much more good-looking in this movie! I'm practically falling head over heels with him already. :D


Scenes from it have been running through my mind repeatedly today. It's just lovely, lovely to be able to have such a film to watch on the lives of this amazing couple. Yes, it may not be entirely true but it gives us a glimpse into the struggles and emotions that they face, just like we normal people do.


That is why I love happy endings so much. I love seeing people happy. I love seeing the smiles on their faces. I love how two people can look into the eyes of the other and understand the message conveyed without uttering a single syllable. I love how a simple and tender kiss on a girl's hand would be everything to make her day. I love how a guy is willing to get down on one knee and ask the lifetime-worth question. I love seeing the reaction of a girl's face when the love of her life proposes to her. I love how a guy would slip a diamond ring softly onto the finger of his beloved. I love the 'I do's. 


I love the story of William and Catherine. :)


Both in movie, and in real life. 


William and Catherine's romance is a fairytale. Let me believe in this fairytale.


"I promise I will always love you, and I will protect you until the day I die." - Prince William




P.S. This Kate looks a tad bit like Nina Dobrev. Or so I feel. ;)

He who opens the way

Life is really not a bed of roses. Sometimes, you get stuck in a situation that you have no clue how to get yourself out. You struggle, and you are in deep conflict with yourself between your heart and your mind. The one above will tell you to do what you should do, what you are supposed to do and ultimately, what the society expects you to do. Then that of intuition reminds you of who you are hidden underneath the layer of pretence, calling and urging out to you to save yourself from sinking deeper and deeper into an endless abyss. 

But decisions are usually hard to make, if not always. It seems to me as if it's a constant tug of war between 'should' and 'want'. You understand that you are obliged to do it, but it's not what you really want. Otherwise, you are not supposed to do it and yet it's so clear how much you really want to do just that. Responsibilities, duties, everything.

Somehow, I got myself into a situation as that. It took every ounce of perseverance to stay afloat. Because I know, I know I cannot just declare my dislike, walk away with my head held high and always escaping from something that is imminent in life. At one point or another, the time will come for us to grow up. Become mature and not to give up so easily anymore. Oh, it'll definitely come. But right now, I'm still pushing my way through. 

I was at a crossroad, debating with the sensibility and happiness. Had I finally came to a decision, I do not know. One thing I know is, God is here with me. He was, He is, and He will. I'm now relieved. You will too, if you ever happen to encounter a situation like this. Believe, and you will. ;)

Let your guard down, let your worries flow as far away as they want to, for God will always be with you. 

Shoo! Shoo! Life still rocks after all! 

Cause it's beautiful. :)

love, loved, lovely day

14th February, that time of the year again. Chocolates, bouquets of stunning red roses, lavish dinner, super-sized cuddly bears, heart-shaped balloons, what else? Well, at least those are the ones that come into my mind right now.

Sadly, it doesn't have that much significance to me this day. I don't know, perhaps it's my work and all. But still that shouldn't be an excuse. So it was a pretty good sight when I was on my way home after work. Caught a glimpse of a lady with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. And that sight, brought a smile to my face. It really did. ;D

I think that was really sweet. Coming from someone who has never fancied receiving flowers as a gift, I now find it giving a much deeper significance to the receiver. Some may find this boring, some may think unnecessary, some would be over cloud nine even if it's only a stalk of rose she receives. How amazing it is, isn't it? Just a simple gift like that is able to cast away the rain and bring on sunshine and rainbow. It's a beautiful thing to do, really. ;)

Beautiful. Just like snow falling gracefully upon pedestrians. Just like the two phone booths become the company to the other.

Then I saw another lady with a bouquet of roses. I'm pretty sure they were roses. I mean, they have the colour of roses. ;D And then another girl with another bouquet. Then on this night, many posts on Facebook are on Valentine's Day. I'm proud to say I'm so glad for those who have the other half to celebrate this day with. ;)

Unfortunately, there are some things, or more like mentality that you simply can't put it off. Like, forever alone? Guys, don't ever feel yourself alone. Because you're not. If you are, you won't be reading this anyway. Someone, somewhere, feels as you do, wishes as you do, hopes as you do, loves as you do. Being single is really a fine thing. Never be upset just because you feel left out on this day. You know what? God is reserving someone better for you, someone who He thinks deserves you. Because God loves you, and me. ;D

Close your eyes, and feel the beauty around you. Not looking, but feeling it with your heart. There's so much love around you. Perhaps you've been too busy looking at the wrong places. Who knows? ;P

Love is everywhere. 

Let's not be down. We really should rejoice because after all, chocolates do taste superb and cakes are always girls' best comfort. Alright, at least that's true for me. 

Happy Valentine's Day to all humans out there! 

You have my love. ;)